she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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