Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Sorry about my life...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
