I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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