even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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