You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
