i'm signing you up for texting rehab
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
