I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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