i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
