I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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