If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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