i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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