This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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