Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
