The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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