The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
