It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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