I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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