YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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