Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I could make wine with my vomit
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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