he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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