I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize