literally had 100 drinks last night.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
