I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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