I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
