Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
