i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
