am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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