I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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