i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
