I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
They are going to name an STD after you.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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