I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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