Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize