You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
