i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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