I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
