drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
