Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize