i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
