True but thats because hes a fetus.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
