yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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