am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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