Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
