What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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