either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
