Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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