Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
