HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
pop tarts are not kleenex
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
