I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
