Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
