I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
