Everything about him screamed your future.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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