Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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