Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
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