Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
