I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
