I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
