He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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