Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
