I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
