Im at strip club and am horny
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i think we sleep fucked last night...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
